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An Introduction

On Friday, I went to London for a short but wonderful trip with my friend Mel  where we did many fantastic things. I'll get into that mo...

10 May 2017

10.05.17 THE RETURN

Hello all!

Phew, it's been a while! As most of you know, I have just moved house and, of course, it didn't go quite according to plan but we managed in the end! Most of my time has been spent decorating/fiddling with various things and pretending I know how to do a DIY. I also had a lovely week daaahn saaaath with Mel as a sort of half-term-pre-birthday-trip-visit... thing. I apologise for my unforseen absence but I was rather rudely trolled by my wifi provider so I've been sat twiddling my thumbs for a few weeks but I'm back now, hurrah!



Basically, what happened was the company decided they'd provided us wifi when they actually hadn't due to a problem with the phone line, which is not strictly their fault, but the fact they kept insisting we were just being dense got very annoying very fast. Not to mention the constant 'we'll contact you in 24 hours' bullshit we got from them - I'm still waiting for about seven of those calls. One advisor actually asked for our phone number. The number they were supposed to provide. That we didn't get. When we told her that she recommended we get in touch by email. On the internet. Yeah... She was still slightly more helpful than the 'it should just come on' guy!

The long hike to my bedroom...

Anyway, once we'd harassed them enough they actually got an engineer out to sort the phone line - the last advisor we spoke to seemed completely nonplussed as to why it hadn't already been dealt with but no one previously seemed to even know about it! Very odd. Never mind, we're on now and it's so far working much better than in the old house which was a technological black hole (patchy wifi, no access to Sky etc, no phone signal - even though the neighbours got it!).



The worst part was that because we hadn't decorated yet (obviously) we hadn't unpacked much, other than clothes, so as well as no internet access I didn't have any DVDs or books or... well much of anything! Poor mum had to go the first night without any TV as well because I wasn't there to set it up for her! It was pretty isolating at first - especially since my phone signal is super patchy - though that's still better than none at all - I felt really cut off from everyone, especially when my signal fucked off for a few hours at a time. Due to no internet I lost whatsapp access and I couldn't get in touch with Lily for days at a time. Lily and I have spoken every day for almost a decade and having that taken away from me was... quite a blow. For every person I couldn't reach, another limb was torn off. I felt so helpless. It was really difficult to not think as I had so little to distract me. I filled my days pretty well but at night I ran out of things to do and just had to sit and let my mind fester. I ended up going to bed at like 9/10 pm and just lying there slowly descending into panic. I was pretty miserable.

Two minutes from my house!

My nightmares also decided to pay me a visit again and I've still not quite escaped from those yet. So lots of flashbacks with S and other weird memories-meet-present-Hawke-during-zombie-apocalypse happy fun times! The worst part is that I'm really good at lucid dreaming and when I'm having nightmares I'm still lucid - I know it's a dream - but I can't escape. The harder I try to control the dream and steer it to safety, the tighter it's hold on me becomes. It even starts to effect me, or my dream-self manifestation, my hair grows again, people start to deadname me, it's like slowly regressing back into the helpless teenager I used to be. Being aware that I've grown up kind of makes it worse, the added layer of perspective makes me feel even more weak and vulnerable than I did at the time. Lots of waking up soaked in sweat and it's not even clearing my skin!

I worked so hard on my room, I love it!

As I said, I was fine during the day as I threw myself into fixing up the place. I think I've been doing a pretty good job so far. My room is more or less finished now - I just need to unpack a few more things for my shelves and set up more lights but everything else has been painted and screwed (ehehe) and tidied away nicely. Also, excitingly, I have a little office space in the spare room downstairs for all my game consoles! This is partly due to my room's floorspace being almost entirely taken up by my bed, but also so I can record and be loud in the night without disturbing anyone as it's a room off from the kitchen away from the rest of the house and not near any neighbours. Aren't I considerate? It has nothing at all to do with the fact I'm three feet away from the fridge for midnight snacks. Honest.

I also spent a good few hours giving the bathroom and kitchen a bloody good scrub. Everything is a bit filthy. Not in a gross 'people used the oven as a second bathroom' kinda way just in a 'this dust has been here since 1953 and has now fossilised' sort of way. It took some fucking shifting, but that loo is gleaming now let me tell you! The actual loo, that is, not the oven. Alas, the oven beat me in round one and is still covered in... grot. But I went out today and bought some hardcore oven cleaner stuff so you better be ready bitch, Ima coming for ya!

We've nearly finished the living room now so we'll finally be able to unpack my books in the near future! I swear, I've spent more time at B&Q than actually at the house. We're constantly coming back and carrying in random bits of wood and buckets of paint. I've also spent a good few hours just marching round the house with a screw driver and a hammer. The previous owners have very cleverly fixed everything into place with as little effort as possible - if it needs 2 screws, it's got one, if it needs a nail, it's got sticky tape, if it needs plaster, it's been painted over.

It really hit me a few days in as we discovered more and more little issues lurking in every corner. There's nothing inherently wrong with the house - there's no damp and it's not going to fall down around my ears, but it's still got a lot of work to do. At times I felt a bit like Tom Hanks in The Money Pit. Especially when three curtain poles fell down! I also have to give Dan a big thank you for coming over one day and helping us with some odd jobs. I'm a bit disappointed I'm not all chiselled and Gina Gershon á la Bound-like... yet.

Makin' my way downtown!

Anyway, back to the beginning. I had a fantastic time with Mel, despite nearly passing out while waiting for her at the station! We went for lots of Pokémon walks and I treated myself to a few PS4 games. Mel sneakily also bought me an extra one, which was so adorable as it was the first thing to arrive at the new address for me. Super exciting!



[CN: food]

We had planned to have a nice picnic near the bandstand but it ended up being ridiculously windy so we had it in the living room instead! Gracie joined us for fruit, sausages, tarts, pasta, donuts, satays, cheese straws, salami and wine. We had a really nice time sitting on the floor stuffing our faces and swapping our favourite tunes on Spotify. After we'd finished eating nearly all of it (impressive, right?!) we went upstairs for a well deserved nap!

[/CN]

Got my fave jumper back!

We'd also planned to have a day out in Taunton but I had a sleep attack and spent most of the day in bed struggling to stay conscious. I don't really remember much of that day as even when I'm awake during an attack everything's a bit foggy. I was a bit annoyed because I only have a limited time with Mel and I was wasting it sleeping! Still, I have to admit it was nice to have a day snuggled in bed with her all cosy and warm.

The trip home was a bit of a disaster! My first train was fine but packed with a stag do going through every insulting stereotype ex girlfriend possible. The wait at the station gradullay got longer and longer as my train got more and more delayed. Eventually it arrived and I thought that was the end of it. Oh no, my friends... Turns out the train was late because it was slowly running out of power! We got slower and slower until finally grinding to a halt in the middle of nowhere and being informed we physically couldn't make it to the next station. A 'rescue train' arrived AKA another passenger train which was now receiving some unexpected guests, and I was tragically forced to sit in first class and use the free wifi while eating a free cake with my free diet coke... Awful, just awful. Unfortunately, that part of the journey was the shortest and we eventually pulled into Birmingham. Great. Only three hours to go! I managed to find another train and finally made it to Durham and to get my first glimpse at my new home!

Rocking the sports bra/vest top combo

The following day was just as hectic, a nice early start to get over to Newcastle to get a new tattoo! It took about an hour and I was actually quite surprised when it was over, I was just getting settled into the chair! As usual, Jay did a great job and we had a nice catch up (mostly about games and Harry Potter!) while he worked. It was nice to get this one as I could actually watch him work, unlike my last piece which was literally right behind me!


I had a couple hours at home to fix the telly for mumsie before I was back out, helping Dan with his biz at a wedding. It was great fun but my hands were frozen by the end of it! I stayed at his house that night and slept in my wee cousin's bed as he wasn't there. I quite enjoyed the toddler decor, I may need to invest in some pirate wallpaper!

Anyway, I think I better scoot now. It's been another busy day and I'm not even finished yet! I'm thinking I might do an extra piece in the next few days to make up for the hiatus and then hopefully we'll be back on track by next Wednesday as I still have hundreds of notes about things to tell you about! See you soon!

Xx

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